i am feeling rather strung out - the usual maternal mix of anxiety and guilt. poor william woke us up just before 2am with an awful croupy cough, struggling for breath and very upset.
after ventolin and calming didn't work we phoned for an ambulance - the paramedics arrived within 10 minutes, were wonderful and calm and gave w some oxygen which helped to calm him down. then he and the scrumpster were loaded into the ambulance and taken off to hospital.
as the ambulance pulled away i had that awful 'will i see you again' strickenness and felt like the world's worst mother in not being the parent in the ambulance.
but someone has to stay behind to care for the other kids, the scrumpster was ready and had w's jacket and slippers, i did the last hospital run etc etc all the rationality and reasonableness in the world can't sweep away the anxiety of not knowing what is happening, of not being there with my boy.
and that slack-arsed bthed slept through the whole thing!! wouldn't have noticed legions of paramedics taking over the house. miss molly moth conducted a thorough inspection of the equipment and had to be reminded not to climb up the younger paramedic's back - she and toby have gone back to bed.
which is where i should go now and try and get some sleep. will keep you posted