no one does wrist slitty like pink floyd

So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have you found? The same old fears.
Wish you were here.


http://www.pinkfloyd.com/x/default.html

44

i was going to write a bit of a spiel about turning 44 and the significance of this and the fact that i like being an even number and how solid a number 44 looks and what i had learned from the first half and hoped for the second half of my life.

and then i was going to write about the birthday i wished i had had (one without sick kids and driving 2 hours each way to ballarat for a meeting and not having lunch until 3 o'clock and not getting back to the city until after 6 and getting weepy in the work carpark because i couldn't work out how the security card system worked and then getting weepier at the station because i just missed the train by a bee's whisker and there wasn't another one for 15 minutes.........)

and then i thought how glad i am that i have kids to cuddle when they're sick (and at other times of course), that i have a girly who sat up last night handstitching an apron for me and who bought me the best birthday card (i'll scan it tomorrow or the next day), that i have inlaws who will drop everything to look after the sick kids for me, that i have a job that i love and really believe in, a colleague i like being with and was sad to leave behind in ballarat, that i have an ex husband who will say 'just get in a cab and i'll pay for it' (after having put off a minister or two so he can take aforementioned sick kids to the dr), again the inlaws who make me birthday dinner and buy me a fabulous birthday cake, and special family who send me cards and emails and a sister and brother inlaw who when i say i need a hug will come over with flowers and chockies, a blog to write and again kids to tuck in and say i love you.

which all adds up to i like being me - and 44 is looking pretty good. and wasn't i a cutie back in the sixties?

which jane austen heroine are you?

Take the Quiz here!

i didn't even cheat to get elizabeth :) i thought i was more likely to be elinor dashwood... silly but fun

consultation socks

here are my latest pair of socks knitted as my manager, gil, and i drove around the state from ballarat to morwell, swan hill, shepparton, thornbury, dandenong and croydon as part of the community consultation for the Victorian Charter of Safety and Wellbeing for Aboriginal Children and Young People (the consultants went to many more places than we did i should add - they covered the state)

i used the usual patons sock recipe and some gorgeous buttery soft wendy dennis polwarth wool (pilling already but just so soft and warm) in my favourite alice springs colours (they were going to be called my alice socks but they were so much part of the consultation it seemed churlish to call them anything else.

my second pair of socks this year and knitted in a record 5 weeks... this sounds all the more pathetic when you see how susan spent her weekend.......

my space

until a couple of months ago i used to sew on the kitchen table - leading to a greater degree of chaos than was necessary. then my lovely inlaws gave me their old kitchen table and installed it under the window so now i have a dedicated space for sewing. i do share it with big bird and a few other pals hanging around.....

not quite a studio but my own space.

of course the table is much more crowded than when i took these photos as different projects ebb and flow and leave their flotsam of threads, needles and half finished pieces

trees challenge quilt

after many setbacks (mainly computer related) i have finally started my around the world in 20 quilts challenge quilt. the theme for this first quilt is trees: which is fine until you get to the horizontal format which had me stumped as the insistence of trees is on verticality.....

so i cheated

i took this photo of the bunya pine at buda in castlemaine back in june - it is a tree that reeks of antiquity and has an amazingly sculptural shape - almost shocking in a way. but i knew it would be my tree quilt. after much mooshing around i decided to use a warholesque composition and printed the image onto silk - habotai and organza. these pieces were too floppy and flimsy so i ironed them onto vilesofix to give them some body and sandwiched a piece of habotai onto a piece of organza for the middle panel.


then i fused each panel onto a background of greeny grey peach silk and a gorgeous piece of hand dyed silk chiffon by spiral dyed that i snaffled at the bendigo wool show. i then put a layer of black silk chiffon over the top. but it was still too floppy so cut a piece of black handspun and a a piece out of a felted green jumper bequeathed by my Mother. ( a bottle green pringle sweater that used to belong my aunty peggy)

this is the assembled piece.

and now i have to turn my mind to the quilting - i want sinuous but not to curvy. it should echo the shape of the trees but not slavishly copy.

off to do some thinking.... (btw sorry for the quality of the photos - the light is shocking in here today)

cross posted at around the world in 20 quilts

my place

the website for dijanne cevaal's contemporary art quilt exhibition 'my place' is now up and running - go have a look. there are some amazing pieces there.

i still can't believe i had a quilt accepted - it is 'interior alice' - one of my alice springs pieces. i don't think i'll ever get 'it' out of my system - which means a lot more quilts :)

me meme

as seen on pea soup....

Eye Color: Blue
Hair Color: grey, brown, blondey bits (in that order)
--Dyed or Natural: Dyed -highlighted
--Curly or Straight: wavy (gravy - who will pick up that reference?? let me know...)
Right- or Left-handed: Right
Tan or Pale: pale
Jeans or Khakis: jeans
Country, Rap, or Rock: of that selection - rock
Heritage: English, Scottish, possibly Spanish and more recently discovered Koori
Shoes you're wearing today: green suede birkenstocks
Your weakness(es): textiles and fibre of any kind, books, quilting magazines, babies, men with big brown eyes or big blue eyes, reading one more pages, reading one more blog, knitting one more row, stitching one more colour, poetry, chocolate, pasta, bad jokes, sleeping in, white sheets, 'i love you mummy' (can i stop now?)
Your perfect pizza: marinara
Favorite color: purple and black for clothes, vibrant reds, oranges and turquoises for fabric/fibre
Favorite place: central australia
Goal you'd like to achieve: finding my true self
Your most overused phrase(s): 'let us depart in peace' (when we're leaving the house), 'i love you'
Your thoughts first waking up: is it friday (the day i don't work)
Your best physical feature(s): my eyes, possibly bosoms (can i use that word?)
Your bedtime: any decent interval after the kids have gone to bed
Your most missed memory: my gran who died when i was 2
Pepsi or Coke: Coke
McDonald's or Burger King: bluck! hungry jacks if pressed
Single or group dates: Both
Adidas or Nike: Nope
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: neither
Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate
Cappuccino or coffee: latte

DO YOU:
Smoke: Nope
Cuss: Yessiree bob
Have a boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
Take a shower: yes
Have a crush(es): mmmm sean connery, george clooney, ben harper, alan rickman
Think you've been in love: i know so
Want to get married: mmm think so - i have done it once and it was good
Believe in yourself: almost most of the time
Believe in God: yessiree - i'm a card carrying franciscan
Believe in your government: so far so good
Get motion sickness: nyetski
Think you're attractive: in a pinch
Think you're a health freak: No
Get along with your parents: with my mum
Like thunderstorms: i do now and am more likely to enjoy them when i have company and am not spooked

IN THE PAST MONTH, HAVE YOU:
Drunk alcohol: Yes
Gone on a date: yes
Gone to the mall: No
Been on stage: No
Eaten an entire box of Oreos: no but i could imagine doing that same
Eaten sushi: Yes
Been dumped: yep - for the 5th time this year (by the same man - you'll be pleased to hear that i have finally learned something from this)
Gone skating: No
Gone skinny dipping: i think not, given the freezy breeziness of these parts at this time of year
Stolen anything: does a kiss count?


HAVE YOU EVER:
Played a game that required removal of clothing: nope
Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: nope - can't drink that much. i get blurry, giggly and tired (in that order) then very floppy - and that's after one glass of wine with dinner...
Been caught "doing something": don't think so
Been called a tease: no
Gotten beaten up: definitely not - i went to a nice gels' school (and there's no such word as 'gotten')
Age you hope to be married: not a good time to think about such things (see 'dumped' response)
Number of children you'd like: for what purpose? to keep? 3 will do
Describe your dream wedding: see previous answer re marriage. if i try and answer this one i will cry
What do you want to be when you grow up: wise and happy or happy and wise.

WHAT YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX:
Best eye color?: blue, brown or green. preferably not rheumy
Best hair color?: don't care about hair - not even if it is present or not
Short or long hair: preferably one or the other
Height: taller than me (not a big ask)
Best first date location: somewhere safe - a cafe
Best first kiss location: lips

IN THE NUMBERS:
Number of people I could trust with my life: Four?
Number of CD's: lots.
Number of piercings: one set (ears)
Number of tattoos: yuck!
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: not sure - not many
Number of scars on my body: quite a few - skinned knees from childhood; a vertical scar on my left index finger from when i was pregnant with A, chopping pumpkin while m was upsatirs wiht the horse flu; lots of surgery scars from endometriosis clearings, trying for a baby ops and the crowning glory of my caesar scar that meant one safe and alive baby

more neruda

XVII (I do not love you...) by Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda
Don't go far off, not even for a day,
Because I don't know how to say it - a day is long
And I will be waiting for you, as in
An empty station when the trains are
Parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then
The little drops of anguish will all run together,
The smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
Into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve
On the beach, may your eyelids never flutter
Into the empty distance. Don't LEAVE me for
A second, my dearest, because in that moment you'll
Have gone so far I'll wander mazily
Over all the earth, asking, will you
Come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

my favourite poet

THE DEAD WOMAN

If suddenly you do not exist,
if suddenly you are not living,
I shall go on living.

I do not dare,
I do not dare to write it,
if you die.

I shall go on living.

Because where a man has no voice,
there, my voice.

Where blacks are beaten,
I can not be dead.
When my brothers go to jail
I shall go with them.

When victory,
not my victory
but the great victory
arrives,
even though I am mute I must speak:
I shall see it come even though I am blind.

No, forgive me.
If you are not living,
if you, beloved, my love,
if you
have died,
all the leaves will fall on my breast,
it will rain upon my soul night and day,
the snow will burn my heart,
I shall walk with cold and fire and death and snow,
my feet will want to march toward where you sleep,
but
I shall go on living,
because you wanted me to be, above all things,
untamable,
and, love, because you know that I am not just one man
but all men.

Pablo Neruda

still here

i am still here although continuing to experience computer difficulties. for some reason i can't use photo manager so can't tweak photos to make them more interesting.

life on the other hand has been more than interesting which has resulted in some angst and little that is creative. and has required a couple of sage smudgings of the house to be followed by a big smudging next weekend.

on the other hand my Mother has given me her beautiful spinning wheel (an original double drive sheridan) and i have turned into rumpelstilthopkins..... it's at least 30 years since i tried my hand at spinning but it all came back to me and in what felt like no time i turned this

into this

(lovely alpaca and wool/silk mix random dyed 'autumn')

i had a bit of a spinning spasm on friday night and spun for 4 hours - which was not good for my shoulders and back but resulted in some lovely even yarn :) as yet unphotographed

i have also done one stage 1 of 'dark moon' - here's a bit.

more to follow when it's done (canvas, silk, cotton, xpandapaint, lutradur, tulle, walnut ink)