Sunday, July 15, 2007

sad...

i have put off writing this post for a long time. my blog is not supposed to be personal, you see - it's supposed to be a sort of craft journal. but there hasn't been any real crafting for a long time and my creative spark seems to have gone out.

this has been the hardest 8 months of my life, culminating in my husband of 17 years, partner of 20 years, father of my 3 beautiful children and my best friend moving out last weekend. to live with someone else. we are still friends, we still care for each other and i think in the long run it will be for the best. but it hurts.

i was sort of ok during the week - things weren't much different. he was here taking care of the 2 older kids during the school holidays for a couple of days; it was a bit like when he went away for uni or work.

but this weekend has been hellishly lonely and i feel so sad and i can't imagine that it will be any better.

and this is why i wanted my blog to be not about me - because i don't want to cry into the keyboard. but there's no one else to talk to.

10 comments:

English Rose said...

Lisette, just found your blog via susan D's site. And I arrive with you as your world is falling apart. As one who has been there and climbed back out of the pit the other side, please hang in there, it will, I promise, get more manageable. won't say better of easier, but you will find ways to cope. But in the meantime, your work looks fabulous, and you have not by a long shot lost your creative streak.

sionwyn said...

ai, the loneliness of the first while is the worst. It won't feel so overwhelming for long, and I guarantee you'll discover your fires have just been banked for a while. Do what you must, not-personal oaths be damned - I think you'll find most "invisipeeps" are very ready with the tea & hairpats over the occasional soggy keyboard post.

ACey said...

hard not to respond to this post but just as hard to know the right thing to say. Long distance hugs

Abby said...

my heart lurches at your honesty and pain.... be as strong as you are able and a time will come when the ache will subside a little... my thoughts are with you during this heartwrenching time...
luv Abby

catsmum said...

waddya mean no one to talk to? You lost my phone # all of a sudden?
and it's not like I didn't know what was going on now is it?
big cyber hugz until you can get up here for the real thing

lisette said...

thanks guys

and late sunday night didn't feel like a good time to call :) but i will call you soon

Emily said...

Oh Noooooo! I am so sorry to hear of your pain. Lots of love from across the world. Em

Anonymous said...

Lisette - it hurts like hell, and it will for a long time. But it DOES get better, I promise. Really. And you have invisible but REAL support here... so post if you want to. Hugs,
Caity

SeamRippstress said...

Oh Lisette, that is terrible. do lean on your friends and your very real support here. prayers and a big hug to you. Elaine

weirdbunny said...

Don't be sad !!!
My blog was supposed to be just a sewing blog, but now it's whatever goes !

I think you need to get yourself a huge bar of chocolate, and lie on the settee with your duvet. It won't change your circumstances, but you might feel a bit happier for indulging yourself ~ love Julia x